Tired of Counting Sheep...

Why oh why am I awake...at 1:30 a.m. I've had a busy, fun and eventful day with Miss L...and should be fast asleep in my comfy bed, but instead, I am on the couch watching a boring drama on Lifetime, sipping caffiene free tea, while trying to lull myself to sleep. After reading my dear Florida friend's recent blog post, it made me think about honest blogging. I usually blog about all of the positives, after all, I am honestly an eternal optimist.

I feel like, these days my mind just goes...and goes...like the Energizer bunny.

First, there is soo much I want to communicate to a few of the people I love...things they probably don't want to hear, but would be good for them to hear. Things I want to say only because I care deeply about them, am passionate about their happiness and health, and am naturally always trying to "fix everything," people included. I have a difficult time accepting the fact that the values drilled into my head by my parents while growing up, are no longer shared by those same influencers. I am frustrated by the choices some people in my life make on how they live their life, yet, I keep my mouth shut...after all, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. On the flip side, I take great pride in the fact that I am the new influencer and role model for my siblings, and now my daughter...and I strive to do the best job possible.

Secondly, I feel torn. Every day, I go back and forth about the desire to provide a quality of life for my family {financially} and providing a quality of life for my family {logistically, mentally, physically, emotionally}. Work from home mom or Work full-time outside the home mom...it's the age-old debate...er, well, the stay at home mom vs. working mother debate. It's like the left and right sides of my brain are playing dodgeball 24/7 upstairs. I want it all...but then again, who doesn't?

The last thing on my mind...poo! Yes, now that I am a parent...I think about poo...every.single.day.
Miss L is having an issue since we left California and it is to the point of causing her real pain and tears shed. We're trying all of the home remedies - warm bath, rectal thermometer, bicycle kicking, belly massage, nursing, lavendar scented Cozy Hugs teddy bear. Thankfully, she went to sleep just fine...but I hope my lil' angel stays that way until 9:30 a.m....just like last night. We will see how she does tomorrow, but I am planning a phone call to the Ped in the morning, followed by their suggested remedy - maybe a little prune juice, a baby suppository, or something else. We shall see.

It's now 2:19 a.m. - maybe I should try the bed thing again.