2k20 - WOW!

Despite starting 2020 with the most amazing experience of fireworks + music on a gorgeous beach in Aruba...we came home in the following days/weeks and I gathered January 2020 started off a bit nutty...it was crazy with work, family life {L getting off of her ADHD meds due to a  HUGE increased expense in the monthly rate of her prescription}, Jeremy's extensive work travels and just a feeling opposite of the zen - balanced type of life I usually craft.

So...I declared February 1st the new "new year" and gathered some dear friends (some whom also had a crummy January) and we spent a beautiful morning enjoying foot massages together, followed by a visit to Starbucks together.

The highlight of February was mid-month, cashing in on my Christmas gift from Jeremy with an AMAZING concert by The Lumineers...alongside some dear friends. It was a beautiful, fun + memorable night. One of the best nights so far in 2020.

Quickly February became tarnished after S had the stomach flu on Monday {nothing worse than seeing your child vomit and unable to help them}, followed by Mommy getting it on Friday (while Jeremy was away for nearly 8 days straight)...and then L came home from school the day prior with stomach pains. As I waited {impatiently} for the stomach flu to run it's course through L...it actually turned out to be a severe urinary tract infection which her Dr was concerned was a severe kidney infection and giving strict orders for a check within 48 hours, or else we were heading to the hospital to be admitted.

Let me just pause to recite our TWO hour visit to the pediatrician that Monday: I'm mid-way through a long solo-parent journey, S is acting out and quite needy climbing all over me...L is off her ADHD meds and stubbornly refusing to give a urine sample while experiencing a 103 temp and a laundry list of symptoms. We try and try...over and over...in the bathroom. Dr is extremely concerned and will be using a catheter to get a sample if L won't pee in the "hat" in the toilet, or a cup or anything! First, we swab for the flu - negative, then we rule out strep. Next up is a cath... and I literally didn't think I was strong enough to hold her down - either emotionally or physically. Thank heavens...I offered her $100 CASH and daddy offered her a pass code to a special technology {over the phone}...and it did the trick, just 10 minutes shy of the office closing. Turns out the urine was "horrific" according to the Dr...and two different antibiotics later and about 48 hours on the dot - she was doing MUCH better! 

Three days later...Mommy became sick, again {my guess is it was from the 2 hours spent in the public bathroom of a Dr office in the aforementioned story}... and on Saturday evening at a med-check I was confirmed with influenza A. I cannot recall a time that I had been that sick and I spent days in bed through early March.

So...the first 60 days of 2020 were unique to say the least...

#13 - 21

#13 - What abilities are you grateful for?

The ability to gather people. I am blessed to be a people-gatherer and I strive to find more ways in 2020 to do just this.

#14 - What sight are you grateful for today?

Sunrises from my bedroom window

#15 - What season are you grateful for?

Fall, of course. 

#16 - What about your body are you grateful for?

My shoulders.

#17 - What knowledge are you grateful for?

Business knowledge.

#18 - What piece of art are you grateful for?

Pictures of my family.

#19 - What touch are you grateful for?

The feel of my girls small, soft hands.

#20 - Who in your life are you grateful for?

Tough to chose just one person but ultimately, the full gratitude to our Lord.

#21 - What song are you most grateful for?

Pitbull songs - they pump me up!

#9 - #12 Days of Gratitude

#9 - What place are you grateful for?

Turks + Caicos

I wrote this on the flight on my first trip to this beautiful island and have kept it on my phone ever since...

11/30/2016

The extreme joy I am feeling as I overlook the deep blues of the Atlantic Ocean,
comfortably seated in first class with the love of my life.
We are about to embark on a bucket list item...visiting Turks and Caicos for the first time.
I am ready!
I am ready to see this beautiful gift from God.
I am ready for the start of something great.

I miss my girlies like crazy but I know they are in safe, loving hands...I know that our hugs will be embraced extra strong when we get back home.

I truly feel like this profession was my calling and feel blessed beyond belief.

#10 - What taste are you grateful for today?

Vino!


#11 - What holiday are you grateful for today?

Christmas is most definitely my favorite holiday.


#12 - What texture are you grateful for?

My children's locks of hair.

# 8 - What book are you most grateful for?

This book is sooo good and I loved it! But I especially loved how it came to me in such a special way. My younger sister and not yet a mother herself, sent this book to me based on suggestions she had read with different blogs she followed, combined with knowing I was in the thick of motherhood challenges. It hit me right where I needed and I will forever be grateful.

#7 - What memory are you grateful for?

This is difficult...soo many to chose from. I think I am most grateful for the memories with Jeremy's dad, Pa. So many fond memories but the way he made everyone smile and laugh is the most memorable. XO

30 days of gratitude

I recently came across a chart of 30 topics to consider gratitude for each day of November. I'll kick-start #1 - 6 tonight and hope to keep up with the remaining days in a more timely fashion ;)

#1 - What smell are you grateful for today?

Burnt leaves. I have always loved the smell of burning leaves. I just learned recently that my grandmother does the same thing as me in the late fall, that is, rolls down the windows while driving down the road when I see/smell burning leaves. The ultimate fall smell.

#2 - What technology are you grateful for?

Marco Polo - a video chat app on my phone that keeps me connected and has reconnected me with friends and family across the country. It's a simple and free way to actually see and hear them and I often MP while on the go or at my desk.

#3 - What color are you grateful for?

Pink. I used to love purple but pink has brought me joy and excitement towards my passion and my life as a mom of girls.

#4 - What food are you most grateful for?

Pineapple. {Surprise} It's a great detox-get-things-moving food...it's tasty in a smoothie with vanilla protein, banana and pro-biotic orange juice and was great in my Evol bowl with Hawaiian Chicken and Rice today!

#5 - What sound are you grateful for today?

My girls giggling and laughing when their daddy chases them around our home.

#6 - What in nature are you grateful for?

The symphony of colors of fall in Indiana. Having lived in MI, IN, IL, MN and CO...I can honestly say, Indiana has some of the best fall foliage. I am constantly in awe of the gorgeous maples as I drive down the street.

20 Nineteen

We are on Day 236 of 2019...where has the time gone?!!

I listen to A LOT of podcasts these days...I mean A LOT...perhaps more podcasts than music on most days...which is kind of huge in my space. I just can't get enough of information. I listen to podcasts about business, travel agent life, motherhood, Christian devotions, and healthy living. I recently heard on one podcast that "writing" 20 minutes per day has significant improvements to one's mind and soul. I remembered how much I enjoyed blogging and using this blog as a means to document our life in the years filled with crazy chaos, so that I could one day go back to read and reminisce. I've always "wrote" for me and plan to strive to do this more.

I think 2019 so far has treated our family well. We continue to improve our stride with child-rearing, with balancing work - travel - home life. We are peeling back the layers of our first born to help her develop and be the best version of L through surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids to correct her sleep apnea...to behavior therapy and now occupational therapy to address her sensory processing needs. We continue to grow in this space and must work hard to be patient with the process.

J and I have enjoyed the turquoise waters of Exuma, Bahamas...the warm hospitality of Mexico...and our family enjoyed weekends at our best friend's lake home, a family cabin in Northern Michigan and a week long escape to paradise...Hawaii this summer!

These girls fight often but manage to love a lot, too!

Sophia's comments lately have included:
S: "I just love our house" {as she was walking down our stairs}
Me: "Why do you love our house?"
S: "Because it's just so beautiful!"
Me::smile::

or the other day she told me "Daddy's in love with you!" And I said, yes, yes, he is and I love him, too!

She still says "gah" instead of "the" and we question when we start correcting her but it's soo damn cute right now...neither of us want it to end.

First born children help you realize how fleeting each season is and to just soak up the goodness of each moment as they come! 

I'll try to be back soon!

Twenty 18

Seriously...not one single blog post for this calendar year? #Slacker

Haha! I kid. I know I am not slacking because I know we are accomplishing big bites out of life this year. Here is the roller coaster thus far...

Winter 2018 was long...long and cold. Not enough snow for any enjoyment, and it lasted forever. In fact, while trying to convince J to move {back} to the Midwest in 2016/2017, I told him "oh, you'll be golfing by St. Patrick's Day" ... well, not in 2018! Eeek! #eggonmyface

We managed to getaway for a few nights to an amazing adult-only, all-inclusive resort, UNICO 2087. It just so happened we were there for the resort's first anniversary which made it extra special. This resort is located just south of Playa del Carmen, Mexico and just knocked our socks off. We might even find a way to go back again in 2019.

April brought a few trips to Michigan for celebrations of life and love. We said our goodbyes to Jeremy's Grandpa, and took comfort in him being reunited with Grandma. We enjoyed celebrating the wedding shower of my sister and Jeremy's sister-in-law.

May was a whirlwind, also! I celebrated #CincoDeMarried with my sister's bachelorette bash in MI and J heading south to boat with the boys for his brothers bachelor party. We danced the night away and enjoyed a festive, fun weekend celebrating my sister's wedding in Grand Rapids, MI.

Immediately after, we dashed away to kick-start our summer at Beaches Turks and Caicos - the most gorgeous beach this side of the Caribbean. We visited Iguana Island and spent 7 glorious nights in paradise. We truly think this should be on every family's bucket list.

Summer was fun-filled with time spent at our dear friend's new lakehouse, at the lake near our home, VBS, recreation camps and lots of time spent at our neighborhood pool! We made the most of every drop of sunshine, as evident by these Coppertone girls.

We celebrated another family wedding in Michigan in August, followed by Jeremy's brother Joel's wedding in September - on a chilly but beautiful evening!

The fun didn't end there...we welcomed not one, but TWO new babies to the L family as J's sister and sister-in-law both gave birth to little baby boys...in the month of September.

Then...there is October... the 10+ month anticipation of the family Christmas gift last December...of a Disney Cruise! The girls have waited so soo patiently and it finally came to fruition over our fall break. While we were paying for flights to Orlando, we opted to start our trip with a surprise to Disney World for 4 nights.

And as we catch our breath in crisp, fall Indiana air...we have absolutely loved driving around our neck of the woods and pointing out our favorite coral colored maple leaves. It may be our my favorite past time.

 


We are finding ways to show our gratitude this month and counting our blessings. I will save that for another post...hopefully yet in 2018!

And...here we are 18 months later!

I'm back. Back to blogging...back to feeling more like myself...and {almost} back to being "home" in the Midwest.

Life has changed so much since that last post, December 2015.

Dark Moments 

I discovered and researched and "self-diagnosed" my postpartum depression... over one year past the birth of Sophia... but just weeks after stopping nursing cold-turkey {thanks to an anniversary trip away for 7 nights and her quick attachment to the bottle during this time}. My hormones were completely out of whack, I cried nearly every day and despite the constant Colorado sunshine, I felt so cold, isolated and of course, lonely.  I couldn't be the mother I envisioned {and not the one society paints, but just a normal one} and I couldn't be the friend to others that I formerly was and always felt behind the 8 ball.

I suffered. Often, I would experience my monthly period every few weeks...which brought intense hormone swings, the resurfacing of my lower back problems and more emotional craziness and rage. I brought this up to my doctor in November 2016 at my annual check-up {hoping for some sort of hormonal pill to help} and she toed the line behind medicine indicating a 21 day cycle is "normal."

Well...this wasn't normal for me. So I knew there was more.

Saved by the Gluten {Free}

I read one random article about how a disregarded gluten sensitivity can create such turmoil with our bodies, creating hormonal imbalances {check} and irregular menstruation cycles {check}.  So... I dug deeper and found supporting research which gave me the ammo to stop putting gluten in my mouth...or at least avoid at all cost.

Within the first month...I had a normal 4-week cycle...I physically felt better, less back pain, more energy, my head felt "clearer" and best of all, I had more patience with my littles. This...all within four weeks!

A self-diagnosed gluten sensitivity is no surprise to me...as my mom also deals with this and her brother has celiac disease. 

Avoiding gluten isn't terribly difficult for me - except sweets - that is when my "sweet tooth" gets the best of me! I've always considered myself a salad aficionado... for nearly 20 years. It was a joke at our wedding shower, that J was the cook in our home...and I would make a "mean salad." In fact, during college my roommate used to tease me b/c I ate so healthy and say "why do you eat boring salads all the time?" and kind of peer-pressured me to think I was lame for my diet. But truth be told - salads always made me feel good... and the "junk food" my best friend shared with my husband made me feel like garbage.

When I eat gluten now, I usually feel extremely fatigued {as in...I need a nap, ASAP}...sometimes I feel nausea and headaches, and if I find myself "slipping" a little too much {like last month}...guess what, I got my period in 3 weeks and had horrible lower back problems, again!  

When I think back to my earlier years - I have fallen asleep at Red Wings hockey games, concerts {with seating}, comedian shows, etc. It was just my mode of operation to fall asleep easily, early and often. In hindsight, I had probably consumed a nice pasta dinner with my love, or some delicious bread of some sort... and my body was upset.

It all makes sense now! 

I often wonder if my mom had known about her gluten sensitivity in her earlier years, if my parent's marriage would have been different, if her health path would be changed...but they are doing the best they can in their next chapters. I am just thankful for my personal discovery.

Of all of the changes in the past 18 months... this one is most significant to me.  As I feel back to myself, I find that I miss blogging, it was such a great outlet for me. I blog for myself, so I remember life during these young, but chaotic years. So I am getting back into it... and I hope you will enjoy our future updates! 

Off to enjoy the Colorado sunshine...while we still can!!!

Deep Breaths...

Take deep breaths. That is what I tell myself...as I cry endlessly while watching a video about a "friend-of-a-friend" and young mother battles an aggressive form of cancer and is begging for her life. Ahh. I'm such an emotional basket-case these days.

I gathered with some help of friends, that maybe the past 8-10 weeks haven't been my finest. Feeling scatterbrained, emotional, sad, blue, and just blah. I pushed it off that my work, although a blessing, was keeping me "too" busy...so I tried to dial it back. But, there was still the crying every day feeling. With some suggestive gesturing, I realized that postpartum depression can hit you like a ton of bricks. And maybe for me, it is more like post-weaning depression; as all of those feel-good hormones I experienced while nursing Princess S...came to a screeching halt when I stopped nursing, nearly cold-turkey.

When I say it out loud, it helps. When I acknowledge it and try to smash it before it makes me sad, it helps. I am trying to defeat it with exercise and Vitamin D...along with coffee and wine, some of the most important ingredients to most SAHM's day - or at least us Irish-Catholic-types!

Circling back to the cancer. Cancer just sucks. It makes me sad to think of the intensity of cancer deaths in the area of Michigan, where our roots were planted. It has permanently shaped our family dynamic, perhaps for the worst.

Then, I see an IG pic from a friend in Indy, whom has several in-laws either passed or currently battling cancer. And I know that Indiana has some of the highest cancer rates...a place we previously lived and enjoyed.

Then...I combine this knowledge with the stats about Colorado having some of the best cancer rates in the country. Vitamin D with ample sunshine, an active lifestyle and healthier place to live all contribute to the superior stat. Frequently, I believe God has placed us here with strong purpose and reason. I just question what is more important - being closer {proximity} to family or "feeling" less vulnerable to cancer {not that we should ever let our guard down}. Then, I see the tears of a young mother battling cancer with a plead for support via YouTube...and I feel like I never want to be in her shoes.

Why can't we have our cake and eat it, too?! Or perhaps this is all a moot point, as none of us truly know when our final breaths on this earth will be? And the after life is more desirable, any ways!

Sorry...it's deep...but from the heart.

Polar Opposites

"No two children are the same," proclaimed every seasoned parent as they dished out parenting of 2 {or more} advice when they witnessed my baby bump and a toddler in tow last summer. I hate to say it but...boy, were they right!! 

Miss L is a first-born go-getter, driven to have it her way, Leo that savors the spotlight, and with the flip of a switch can go from super sweet to crazy "threenager" in 4.2 seconds flat! "They" were also right that the 3's are far worse than the "terrible 2s," however, I have heard that 4 is much more manageable. I hope and pray come August that we meet the fun 4-year old in a slightly more mature version of the fun 18-month old I remember from yesteryear! 

Sophia the Second knows the obnoxious, my-way-or-the-highway role in the family has already been secured and she is taking the Libra-route of being chill, go-with-the-flow and just happy as a pig in mud on a hot summer day! I so want to freeze this time with S, as now I know how fleeting it is. 

It's incredible how different these girls are from one another {already}, yet, they share the same genes. Definitely puts some ummph into the nature argument. 

 

Recent visit to MI - riding Gr Grandpa R's pony - "Ginger" 

Recent visit to MI - swinging in the hammock